local shopkeeper was found braindead after confonting paradox - "apparently he was a robot" -
says joe schmoe
a mathematician from london found a way to disprove the weirdness of the number 70 - "what
the fuck" - responds the number 836
"What do you call 2 monkeys that share an Amazon account? Prime mates!" - were the last words
of Rick McMorty; after wich he was brutally murdered with 34 stab wounds
Woman arested for posesion of zombie horses found trampled in her prison cell - "from the way
she was trampled we can tell it was horses, but how they got there is still a mystery" -
says warden
"bitcoin" - says local cricket - "huh?" - responds bee
"The rise of "buy now, pay later" apps may be signs of an incoming recession" - says popular
economist
"leave me alone" - says child, playing terraria
bored ape yacht club reportedly doesn't have any yachts - in fact they do not have any money
NEWS: Time machines found to disolve clients in hydrochloric acid rather than teleporing thru
time
"you simpleminded plebians could not even begin to comprehend my imagination" - states child
on ex-twitter
microsoft's windows 13 now magically spawns an ai powered button on your monitor for no
reason - as result linux market share rises to 100%
the meaning of life was found to be "don't be an asshole" - "I was kinda hoping there was
more to that" - responds now depressed Dwayne "the rock" Johnson
doge coin value rises to 12 billion after elon musk posts a """funny""" meme on ex-twitter
"omg, so, I, like have 17 corpses in my basement!!1 :3" - reveals... my mother!? wait, no,
that can't be right... my mother is not cringe, no she isn't, she can't be!
CEO of asset management company "abrdn" confirms it's pronounced "a burden" and not
"aburdeen"
doctors advise against asbesdos in meals - "you're wrong" - respond tiktok users
"I smoked all the grass, so no one can touch it" - says man high on weed
"Why do we hydrate, just to piss again" - asks intelectual
"The moment I first saw a perfectly square monitor, was the first moment I trully fell in
love" - says linux user
Will see-thru coffins be popular? remains to be seen!
"the internet will never catch on" - says clown, who has been isolated on a deserted isloand
for the past 50 years
"Very moist" - says critical
News: faith in NFTs at an all-time low as copium supplies run dry